Things I Learned As A Child...

Things I Learned As A Child

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic-tac.
Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
School lunches stick to the wall.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.
It's hard to unlearn a bad word.
It's easier to see the mistakes on someone else's paper.
A pencil without an eraser may as well just be a pen.
Sometimes the best one in the play has the fewest lines.
Twelve is a lot older than eight.
Sometimes your best move is blocked by your own checkers.
Don't say that the "Last One is a Rotten Egg" unless you're absolutely sure there's a slow kid behind you.
If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
Your room gets smaller as you get bigger.
You can't start over just because you're losing the game.
A snow day is more fun than a vacation day.
All libraries smell the same.
If you want someone to listen to you, whisper it.
Sometimes you have to take the test before you've finished studying.
Silence can be an answer.
If you throw a ball at someone, they'll probably throw it back.
Don't nod on the phone.